thedriveintheatre

Today is International Day Against Homophobia, and to commemorate the occasion, I’d like to talk about this important issue for this post.

First of all, I’m a heterosexual, straight-as-an-arrow male. I had a pretty early sexual awakening thanks to a picture of Carrie Fisher in her Princess Leia slave girl outfit I saw in a newspaper when I was ten (True story!). I’m as blokey as it gets, I love stupid action films (preferably with tons of explosions and fight scenes), I like to talk about automobiles and things that go fast, I’m not a huge fan of romantic comedy, I don’t shave, and I sneak peeks at lad mags when I’m in the bookstore.

Unfortunately, I also don’t play lots of sports, never had a girlfriend (not the romantic kind) and I’m terrible at any DIY projects. So I know how it is not to be a ‘full bloke’ in a sense. More importantly, I was once a victim of bullying on multiple occasions, so I know how the weak and oppressed feel.

I must admit, I used to be homophobic when I was in my teens. I had a classmate in high school, fat guy and slightly effeminate. In the innocence of my youth, I had a fear of him touching me or my things (partly due to my slight OCD back then) and I was scared of his ‘gay germs’. It looks kinda silly looking back on it now, but I was terrified of him.

The worst part was for my second year in that high school (Secondary 2, or the Singaporean equivalent of Grade 8), I was assigned to sit next to him! I would always position my chair as far away as possible from him, because the desks of our partners in our class were always together, with no gap in between.

One day, my Maths (and homeroom) teacher noticed my awkward sitting position and asked me whether I was alright in front of the whole class. I embarrassingly said “No” and looked at my partner next to me. He had a mix of confusion and hurt on his face. That was when I realised this was all very stupid. I was making a fool out of myself. He was a nice guy. He never treated me badly, or did anything wrong to him. How can I judge him, just because he acts like a ‘pondan’ (sissy)?

From then on, I sat ‘normally’ and talked with him more, and he eventually became one of my good friends. Even now in uni, I have a gay acquaintance (I wouldn’t call him a friend, because he’s kinda ‘bitchy’ sometimes) and I have a suspicion my best friend is bi (though he hasn’t come out of the closet yet).

Homophobia is a condition which should not exist in the 21st century. You don’t necessarily have to agree with them, although homosexuality has been proven to occur in nature. You simply have to accept them as human beings, and this doesn’t mean that you have to accept their way of life.

It hurts me that people still think queers can be ‘corrected’ or ‘fixed’. My mum, I’m sad to say, is homophobic. We have a family friend who has a daughter who is a lesbian, and she forbids us to meet her. We hardly even visit the family friend anymore because of my mum’s irrational fear that we will be ‘influenced’ or ‘tainted’ by the gay girl. And my mum also happens to be afraid of a Christian evangelist aunt of mine for the same reason.

We are stronger and smarter than being subject to the ‘influence’ of others. We should let others live the way they live, as long as they don’t hurt, abuse, or mistreat anyone else.

Being homosexual is different from bestiality or anthropomorphic-love, simply for the fact that both parties are consensual. A dog or a chair might never be able to voice its approval to the relationship, but another grown-up human being can.

What right do we have to say two consensual adults can’t love each other, and be in a committed relationship for the rest of their life? Who’s to say that we should impose our views on other people? Why should we limit the freedom and liberty of others in the interests of our own religion and belief system? How does bullying and abusing those who are different from us make us any better than a tyrant or dictator?

This is different from more contentious topics like euthanasia or abortion, because they involve the taking of human life, sometimes without permission. How does letting two people of the same sex love each other affect your daily life? Who has the right to define what is love?

You have a choice: to love or to hate.

What would you chose?

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